I Can't Make This Stuff Up!

Paging Doctor Freud! Paging Doctor Freud!

I didn't have a midnight snack... so I really can't blame this one on food.

Woke myself up by yelling, "Becky! Wake up!"

Why was I yelling at myself like Alice in Wonderland?

I was dreaming about alien abductions, of all things.

In the dream, I was at the beach, browsing through a fabric/arts and crafts store for curtains material (why I would be doing that on my vacation, I don't know) when I bumped into Julia Roberts. Then I spied I lady from church, and we started browsing fabrics together. We got to the door of the store and looked up to see kind of a greenish glow and the outline of *something*, probably an airplane, just made scarier or obscured by the clouds in the night sky.

No sooner had we made a joke about our UFO than the thing flipped, showed itself to be completely unlike any human-made aircraft, and landed on the beach.

Then it started shooting green beams of light out, with which it snatched up groups of people. At first it missed the church lady and I, but on about the third beam, we were sucked in.

I found myself standing in front of a large square of metal, in a metal room -- not unlike the inside of a bank vault. On the square in front of me were two lines of text and two levers. The first lever moved, and the text of the top line spun until it read, "Keep" (I think it had at first said "Return," then "Trash"). Then the second lever moved, and the bottom line spun. "Operate" was passed up in favor of something else - I can't remember what - and finally it came to rest on "Kickboxing."

At this point, I decided I needed to wake up, because the vault door was about to open and I didn't want to see what a kickboxing alien looked like.

Now, I ask you... why the heck did this scare the crap out of me? I don't know... but I do know I'm not listening to any more George Norry anytime soon. I obviously don't need any help coming up with weird stuff for my dreams!

It's So Hot...

...the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.

...the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

...cows are giving evaporated milk.

...you can make instant sun tea.

...hot water now comes out of both taps.

...you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

...I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

...trees are creeping around looking for shade.

...when and if it does rain, you can see the steam rising up off the pavement.

...the state bird is now fried chicken.

No Slave to Fashion Here

Can I be a hundred percent honest?

I despise flip-flops. I don't just dislike them. I don't merely hate them. I despise them.

Ditto for the low riding pants, belly button rings, crop tops, and tank tops. And don't even get me started on the whole "wear a tank top with spaghetti straps and it's okay to let your fuzzy, icky-looking bra strap show" thing.

Have we lost our minds?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating chastity belts. (By the way, don't google that. It's not pretty.) But I do miss the days of the plain old t-shirts, jeans and sneakers look. Leisure time has become increasingly uncomfortable for me. I feel overdressed.

I know I'm not the only one.

I Am Really Blessed

Got home last night to be greeted by cheers and applause and barking and other signs that a small boy and his dog missed me much during the day.

We should all be so missed by someone during the day, eh?

Nice to feel needed.

Look what a lazy bum my dog is...

Not only is my dog completely spoiled rotten and given to cow-like grunting noises... he's also a wimp when it comes to the A/C. Nobody covered Charlie up... he actually buried himself under the pillows on the couch to get warm. Good grief.

You Can't Keep a Good Toddler Down (For Long)

I've seen my boy chasing a robot with his cousins while suffering with undiagnosed pneumonia... running circles around Mommy and Daddy with an ear infection... jumping off the back of the couch (fortunately onto the seat rather than the floor) with a bad cold... but I know now what it takes to make him sit still.

103 degrees.

Sam's only had a fever that high twice now - once when he was just under a year old, during a bout with a stomach bug that landed him in the doctor's office with an IV to rehydrate him. The second time was yesterday.

You know something's wrong with a small boy when he climbs up into your lap and stays there. "Hold, Mama," he told me, in the most pitiful voice. He was burning up. So of course I held him for what seemed like ages, and complied with all of his demands - things like "E-I-0, Mama" (translation = Mother Dearest, please sing Old MacDonald Had a Farm") and "Mo malk, Mama" (translation = "I would really appreciate another cup of milk").

This morning, he was up and at 'em before the sun, and back to his usual bouncy self. I was awakened to him jumping up and down more or less on top of the dog, which you can imagine my bovine little Beagle didn't appreciate. "Mooooo," said Charlie. So I separated the boy and the canine, and life is back to normal.

Nothing more pitiful than a toddler that doesn't feel like pestering the dog, even. So in that sense, it was kind of good to see him recover so quick. Unfortunately, I'm not recovered yet! Too bad I can't climb on someone's lap and demand they wait on me hand and foot, eh?

Why Ask Why?

A welcome reminder today in the most unlikely of places.

Attended the funeral of a friend's baby. I expected it to be pretty depressing for the obvious reasons. But my pastor offered hope in a place I didn't expect to find it. He reminded me that comfort doesn't come in knowing the answer to the question, "Why?"

It comes in trusting that the One who made us all knows best.

I don't believe that baloney about God never giving us more than we can bear or that all things happen for a reason. They're cold comfort at a time like this. But it helps to remember that even in pain, even in heartache and hardship, God holds us close to his own heart.

What a great place to rest.

I'm Like a One-Legged Fella...

...in a butt-kicking contest! Things are really hopping around here today! Got to remember to slow down and take a deep breath and a moment for myself now and then.

Sam's no help. But of course, he's two. All the child-rearing folks tell you it's good to give toddlers choices (as long as you limit them - you can't take a little guy to a candy store and ask "What do you want?" He'll want it all. But you can say, "Would you like the blue or the red lollipop?") Sam's latest thing is to make a liar out of Dr. Sears. How? Lemme give you a for-instance:

Me: Sam, are you hungry?

Sam: Hungy! Hungy!

Me: Would you like oatmeal or toast for breakfast?

Sam: Toast!

(Mommy puts the bread in the toaster.)

Sam: Oat-meal!

Me: Sam, do you want oatmeal?

Sam: Oat-meal!

(Mommy takes bread out of toaster and starts making oatmeal.)

Sam: No, Mama. Toast!

Ditto for the milk vs. juice debate... the "Nemo" shoes vs. sneakers debacle... and the jeans vs. khakis dilemma. As soon as he tells me what he wants, and I get it half-way done... he decides he wants the opposite.

Can you believe this? Not even quite two-and-a-half and the kid is already mastering mind games!

Let the Sun Shine!

Leeeeeeet the sun shiiine!

Leeeeeeet the sun shine in - the su-uuun shine iiiiiin!

Everybody now!

Can I just say how refreshing it is not to be living like a vampire anymore? My son didn't get up until 7:30 a.m. or a little after this morning, so even though I woke up before my alarm did at 6:50, I still had not only QUIET time before he got up... I also had DAYLIGHT greeting me! I don't have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn anymore! It's not dark and early when I get up anymore!

Let the sun shine in, my friend!

Oh, yeah. Happy fourth! Hug a veteran and remember what was sacrificed so you could have the freedom to work and play and worship the way you think is right. Most of the men who signed the Declaration of Independence lost both their property and their lives for the cause of liberty. Would you do the same?