Only in the South

Quite possibly the strangest thing to ever happen to me... happened to me today.

Had to drive to the big city for a story (actually, a feature on gas price gouging). On the way back to the NewsMobile, the security guard has me sign out, thanks me for visiting, and...


And...


...and offers me a bite of his fried shrimp.

No, I say, that's all right, I don't want to take your lunch. I don't say that I don't like shrimp and that I've been fighting a stomach bug which makes fried food especially abhorrent at the moment. The nice little man with the badge doesn't need to know that.

Then he insists. No really, take one!

No thanks, I say.

No... really, he says, getting pushy now, take one.

To make a long story short, I took his shrimp. But I didn't eat it. (It is currently in a grassy median somewhere between my town and our state capitol along interstate 64.)

Over the Hill and Gaining Speed

We don't need to get into exactly how old or young I am, but my annual brush with my own mortality came and went this past week. And boy do I feel old.

I have two new part-time reporters working with me, both under the age of 23, which is a daily reminder of my mortality and lack of youth in itself. But.

I said something about Pat Benatar to one, and she said, "Who's he?"

I might as well retire now. Pushing 30 is evidently akin to pushing 80... to someone who's only just turned 21.

Now This Is More Like It

Tony Campolo got it right.

Too Smart!

What I am about to reveal does NOT leave this page.

My boy, the toddler, Sam-the-Man... has already outsmarted his mother.

Sam spotted something he shouldn't have on the table last night. Oh, he wanted it so bad... the shiny CD that Mommy and Daddy didn't think he should have. "No, Sam," I told him, over and over, patiently pushing his fat little fingers away and explaining that if he touched the disc it wouldn't play anymore.

"Mama, look!" he exclaimed, pointing behind me.

I looked.

And Sam picked up the CD.

*sigh*

He's not even three yet. What the heck am I going to do with this kid when he's 15?

Yes, I Am a Christian...

...and no, these people do NOT represent my views.

Just to set the record straight: Do I believe God will one day judge the earth? Yes. Do I believe God sent the hurricane to destroy New Orleans as punishment? No.

Please tell me these people aren't making the rest of us look like wackos.

Job Satisfaction Day

Hate your job? Here are a few reasons to choke back the complaints and be grateful for gainful employment:

1) You're not a grave digger.
2) You don't clean teeth.
3) You don't muck out stalls.
4) You don't get crank calls at work from Pagan Man. (Don't ask. I'm sure if you can imagine what crank calls to radio stations are like, that's description enough.)
5) You're not this guy:

Southwestern Virginia: The Cat's Meow?

A feral freakin' cat task force.

I am not making this up. My local government has commissioned a feral cat *task force*.

They can't do anything about the gangs (What gangs?). They can't do anything about the drugs (What drugs?).

A feral cat task force.

Apparently the wild kitties have been picking up AK-47's and terrorizing the neighborhood kids, getting them to sell crack for them. I must have missed that part.

Never mind the creepy man I've called police on at least twice who is always hanging out at the park down the street, making me feel extremely uncomfortable taking my son there. Never mind the exploding abuse of street drugs and manufacture of methamphetamines in the mountains. We have to spend our money on stray cats.

Good grief.

You Have to Do This

Go check out the new "Cheat Commandos" short on Homestar Runner. I laughed until I nearly fell off my chair.

Ode to Duct Tape

Oh, Duct Tape. How I love you. You are strong, versatile... sure, a little sticky. But still, who could begrudge you a little stickiness when you accomplish so much?

I saw a picture this week of the Discovery crew and the wall of gadgets and gizmos and buttons behind them. Amidst all that was something oddly familiar... a little shiny... was that?... it IS! It's duct tape! I wish I could find the picture to show you, but it proves what I've known for years:

"Duct tape is like the force: It has a dark side and a light side and it holds the universe together." - Carl Zwanzig

It Would Almost Be Funny...

Now That Was Just Uncalled For

I had to go delete a comment from someone just now.

You try and do something nice in the world like post a link to a reputable, good cause... and spammers come along and post obscene comments on the freakin' blog! Way to nullify the good deed and cheapen the whole effect, evil-spammer-person.

To keep that from happening again, I've changed the settings so people who make comments on my blog have to sign in and do a word verification. I hate having to do that, but... since I don't particularly care to have my blog associated with obscene spamming, that's just the way it'll have to be.

Dang it.

Help Hurricane Victims

Check out one of my station's sister-stations, K-92, for a unique way to help the people left homeless by Hurricane Katrina.